Do you find yourself spinning scenarios in your head, worrying about things that have not happened yet? As clichéd as it may sound, you are not the only one. Uncertainty is characteristic of life. Our brain is wired to detect dangers – even anticipate ones that do not exist at the moment. Be it money, health, relationships, job security, or aging, concerns can creep into every sphere of your life. Worrying about them is basically your mind trying to prepare for them.
That is why a small amount of worry is generally helpful. When you anticipate threats, you have a better chance of surviving them. However, if you constantly worry or find it to be an uncontrollable impulse, it can sap your energy and make it difficult for you to focus on the present. This can result in stress-related ailments. In fact, excessive worrying is a symptom of Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD, which is a mental health condition that affects millions all around the world.
As bleak as it may all sound, a silver lining exists. Studies show that a few proven strategies can help you curb the intensity and frequency of worrying thoughts. That does not mean bidding adieu to worry forever. That would be unreal. The purpose instead is to prevent worrying from running your life. Let’s explore.
Practice acceptance-based mindfulness meditation
Contrary to popular belief, mindfulness does not restrict itself to a meditation session deep in the woods or sitting across a babbling brook. You can choose to do it anywhere. You can lie down if you want. As long as you are focusing on your breath and gently guiding your attention back to it the moment your mind starts to wander. Called attention-focused mindfulness, this approach can help you calm your chaotic mind. While this method is highly effective, you can take things a step ahead by practicing acceptance-based mindfulness.
This approach involves accepting your thoughts instead of trying to fight them or push them away. When you sit down to meditate, your goal becomes to acknowledge everything that arises – whether it’s a negative thought, an overwhelming emotion, or even a physical sensation. Do not judge it, whatever it is. Simply notice it. If you want, you could also label it, and then just let it exist as it is without reacting, without trying to change it.
As per a 2017 study, acceptance-based meditation was found to be more effective at reducing short-term worry when compared to other meditation techniques. It also trumped progressive muscle relaxation. The idea is simple: when you do not resist anxious thoughts, they lose their power and control over you, thus fading away faster than when you try to ignore them.
Our recommendation: Try sitting wherever you are comfortable with your eyes closed. Once you are comfortable, direct your awareness inwards. Let your thoughts arise, no matter what they are. Do not fight them, just watch them arise and silently label whatever you are feeling. For example, “I’m feeling anxious” or “I’m worried about my job”. No debating, no discussing. Now watch the thought dissolve. Over time, your mind will train itself to treat these thoughts as temporary events rather than threats.
Learn to accept uncertainty
A deep need for certainty can often fuel the fire of worry. Playing “what if?” questions in your mind on repeat can make matters worse, even if it feels like worrying is protecting you and preparing you for the worst. The reality is that worrying is not going to prevent anything.
The control you think you have because of your anxiety? Well, studies show that it is an illusion. Worrying does not lead to solutions. All it does is magnify a potential threat, which in turn can cause more anxiety. Imagining a problem in all its glory can cause it to blow out of proportion. You might start picturing catastrophic outcomes, and before you know it, anxiety takes over, making everything look much bleaker than it could be.
The fact of the matter is, life will always have an element of uncertainty in it. Safety cannot be guaranteed (even if it can be assured), and the future cannot be predicted. Eliminating all risk from life is next to impossible. The only thing in your control is changing your relationship with uncertainty. If you accept unpredictability as an integral part of life, you will not feel the need to worry about it constantly.
Our Recommendation: As soon as you replay the line “I need certainty” to yourself, stop. Pause and tell yourself that you cannot control what happens, but your present is secure. Root yourself in this thought, anchor yourself in the present. The desire to cook up endless bleak scenarios in your head will reduce.
Let go of perfection
Where there is desire for perfection, there is worry. The pressure to make flawless decisions and prevent mistakes is very real. Trying to take responsibility for things beyond your control can get overwhelming, even if it feels like you are just covering all bases. In practice, perfectionism is a trap riddled with anxiety and overthinking.
According to research, perfectionists are more likely to worry excessively and develop anxiety disorders. The reason? Perfectionism can convince you that letting go of the act of worrying, even for a little while, is equivalent to being careless or irresponsible. As a result, you may develop feelings of guilt for not anticipating every single danger out there.
This situation is rather paradoxical if you think about it. Trying to exercise control over variables only exacerbates anxiousness. Perfection is impossible. So the best thing you can do is accept that mistakes are inevitable and imperfect outcomes are part of being human.
Our Recommendation: Break the chain of “what ifs” with some much-needed self-talk. Remind yourself that perfectionism is a lofty and nearly impossible peak to reach. Uncertainty and imperfection do not add up to failure. They are usual experiences of life that could carry a lesson that helps you grow.
Externalize your worry
Letting worries stay in your head rent-free can lead them to snowball beyond your control. This can be a very overwhelming spot to be in. The only fix is to externalize your worry. What we mean to say is treat it as if it has an identity of its own that is separate from you.
Personifying your worries is highly recommended by therapists as an effective strategy. For example, every time you catch yourself getting anxious, label that version of yourself as “Nervous Nancy” or “Worried William.” Picture that version of you tugging at your sleeve, nagging you about every possible danger. This exercise will help you alter your relationship with the worrier in you. You can call it out and set clear boundaries, stating that you do not want to be worried right now. You can also take a more compassionate approach and tell the worrier that you have got this.
If that does not work, writing your concerns down might. Once it is out on paper, your anxious thoughts separate from you. Journaling, as per studies, can reduce the intensity of rumination while offering you a new perspective on a problem that was previously weighing you down.
Our Recommendation: Whenever you get time, spend ten minutes pouring out your most major concerns on paper. Once done, shut your notebook and tell yourself that your day’s quota of worrying is up and that you will deal with any other problems tomorrow. This may stop the worries from replaying in your mind.
Putting It All Together
Worrying is human nature, but it does not have to rule your life. With acceptance-based mindfulness and a shift in perspective, you can stop yourself from being consumed by your anxious thoughts. Accepting uncertainty reduces the illusion of control and keeps you from chasing it. On the other hand, letting go of perfection breaks the endless loop of overthinking.
It might take time and practice, but adopting these strategies will curb your chaotic mind from spinning out of control. Consistency will help you build resilience so you can root yourself in the present without letting the worrier in you disturb your newfound calm. Just do not expect worry to disappear entirely. Change how you relate to it, and your life will automatically become less haunted by “what-ifs”.
